Cow farts cause fuss

By William R. Toler

Farmers could face an extra tax for flautulence. Not theirs of course…but that of their animals.

The Associated Press reported last month that farm groups across the nation are worried that the government will levy a tax on livestock  based on a 2007 Supreme Court ruling animals are emitting greenhouse gasses that are causing “Global Warming.”

Farmers could pay $175 per dairy cow,  $87.50 each for beef cattle and $20 a head per hog, based on federal ag department figures according to the American Farm Bureau Federation.

By those figures, my grandfather would have to fork over more than $4,800 in addtional taxes. Pardon the pun, but I belive he would say, “Bullshit.” And I would agree.

Although the Environmental Protection Agency denies proposing such a tax, it doesn’t seem to far fetched considering the current congress. As one caller to a local radio show said today, if they’re going to tax cows, why not tax themselves and all the hot air they release into the atomosphere.

Some opponents of the tax are worried it could be placed on other animals and lead to the end of American self-suffience.

“It seems there is an ulterior motive, to destroy livestock farms,” said Perry Mobley, director of the Alabama Farmers Federation’s beef division.” This would certainly put them out of business.”

Ron Sparks, the state’s agriculture commissioner cynically agrees. “”We’ll let other countries put food on our tables like they are putting gas in our cars.”